Day 1 of Baby Spider Plant
0

queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

patchesoftheuniverse:

the problem with reading a good book is that you want to finish the book but you don’t want to finish the book

gayttlieb:

DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A ᶠʳᶦᶜᵏᶫᵉ ᶠʳᵃᶜᵏᶫᵉ

teatattoo:

SHOWERS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE. OH UR SKIN FEELS STICKY? SHOWER. HAIR A LITTLE GREASY? SHOWER. NEED TO ESCAPE YOUR FAMILY? SHOWER.

health-over-vanity:

mylifeofloveandhate:

this means a lot, my boyfriend considers him self fat no matter what I tell him. One of my best guy friends thinks no one will date him because he is over weight which is the most un true thing every. All guys bodies are attractive.

This means a lot to me too because my boyfriend also thinks he’s fat regardless of what I say. The saddest day was when I watched him step on a scale and get sad at a number he saw. Spread the love. 

sherlocksmyth:

"but kids won’t UNDERSTAND gay couples!"

shit, kids don’t understand long division and you shove that down their throat but taking five seconds to explain how some people like the same sex is way harder than dividing by a two fuckin digit number.

grimelords:

Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.

therealhamster:

anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars