it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob
what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob
Because we have vaginas
the problem with reading a good book is that you want to finish the book but you don’t want to finish the book
DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A ᶠʳᶦᶜᵏᶫᵉ ᶠʳᵃᶜᵏᶫᵉ
SHOWERS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE. OH UR SKIN FEELS STICKY? SHOWER. HAIR A LITTLE GREASY? SHOWER. NEED TO ESCAPE YOUR FAMILY? SHOWER.
"but kids won’t UNDERSTAND gay couples!"
shit, kids don’t understand long division and you shove that down their throat but taking five seconds to explain how some people like the same sex is way harder than dividing by a two fuckin digit number.
Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.
anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars